It All Goes Surreal
By Paul Whitney
Fives enter the Maths school Matrix
The Fives travelled strong and entered the mythical world of St Joseph Wiliamson Mathematical School late on Saturday afternoon. Were they prepared?? Had they done their homework?? Could they bend the fibres of the Matrix and gain a victory??
The game began on an even footing, with Old Willies moving the ball about to great effect, a newly promoted side proving to be no mugs in the higher league. The first big chance of the game came the fives way, with skipper Whitney surging through the backline for a one on one with the keeper. Whitney however had not done his homework properly !! Newtons laws of force were all calculated correctly as the ball screamed off his stick, however the trigonometry had gone to pot and the shot screamed wildly wide !!! OW came bouncing back and took the lead. Not going to plan !! Again however the fitness and speed of the fives proved telling. OW had the greater possession and moved the ball well, little triangles making pythagoras smile, but scrapping away the fives scorched out of defence twice in a few minutes. First came Zac, showing the skipper how to align the forces with accuracy bedding the ball into the corner of the net. Whitney came again, almost identical to the first run, but this time no mistakes, the ball slotted past the keeper and the fives are 2 - 1 to the good. But it didnt last.
OW scored again taking it to 2 - 2 at the break.
OW had more determination than us and were walking away with every 50/50 ball, but we kept fighting. In moments we were brilliant, in others we were average. But the fight was ever evident. It fell to young Matt, with a fine sweeping reverse strike to restore the fives lead, but again it did not last and OW struck again to get back to 3 -3.
The backline were again solid. Defending hard and well, with Jamie C once again setting the standard with on the line stops and fine clearances, outstanding again.
Matt Mcgee was all over the midfield and as the game entered its final stages the only thing lacking from his person was a long leather coat as he entered the matrix. His stick had its own will, its own mind. It weaved and slide and seemed to bend at impossible angles, swinging around the feet of the oppo, snapping like a viper at the ball.!! Backstick awarded by the umpire !!! Pah !! They could just not see the different universe in which Matt was playing.
Then came the fives finest move of the game, with Zac and young Matt linking up supremely with fine one two's ending with Zac slapping into the net for his second.
Only 5 mins to go.
And we all entered Matt's world of the matrix. The ball came to Callum in the D. He stopped. The world stopped. Luminous green results of kent hockey through the ages tumbled down in the goal mouth. We all bent over backwards at 90 degrees and flipped up again for no apparent reason!! Callum moved slightly. The goalie waved his arms madly. The spectators made tea as nothing seemed to move. Callum flicked his wrists slightly and the ball hit the backboard. Whoops of delight as the fives re-entered the normal world, leaving the matrix behind.
A great victory.
Not classy, but gritty.
And sometimes you have to win ugly.
What a fine team Old Willies were and gentlemen post match in the bar, we look forward to hosting them in the new year. Two seasons ago we played these guys and they had a small young lad in their set up called Luca. He is now eleven foot four and a hanful on the pitch, so hopefully they leave him behind !!!!
Thanks to Mike Earnshaw and Murray for keeping order in a great game.
Thanks to Pythagoras, Newton, Einstein and the other mathematicians enabling us to combine all their forces and equations on the field of hockey.
Man Of The Match - Jamie Cotgreave
Zac Gauge X2
Callum Ox- Macdonald
We survived the matrix.!! Onward Fives !!!