DYNAMOS SIGN OFF IN STYLE

Maidstone Men’s 6s 4 BOEHC Dynamos 2

In a game where the result was not the be-all and and-all in terms of league placing – a mid-table 6th spot was guaranteed regardless – it was important for the Dynamos to put in a strong performance in their last outing of the 2015-16 season. This they did with some aplomb, playing some superb flowing hockey which showed just how far the team had come since last October’s humble beginnings. Despite the defeat, the visitors will have gained far more from the experience than the highly “strengthened” home team, who were probably not even fielding half of the side that lost its last home fixture 2-7 just a week earlier and who had several players of a far richer provenance in their ranks, presumably in an attempt to avoid the wooden spoon in Division 4 in particular, and Kent men’s hockey in general.

Ignoring a mad five minute-spell after half-time when the hosts added to their solitary first-half strike to lead 4-0, the BOEHC side more than matched their opponents for long spells, at long last using the full width of the pitch to great effect through Josh Clark and the energetic James Elliott, who has had a fine first season in senior hockey. Louis Brown also carried on where he had left off a week earlier at left-back, with Dynamos’ regular Matt Southgate switching to right-back as Joni Coleman stepped into the breach in central defence. Driven on in midfield by one of the off-field “management team”, Paul Whitney, both he and captain David Leverton caused the home team a whole host of problems as the guests sprayed the ball around with all the abandon of a pride of lions marking territory, but with a greater degree of accuracy ... and slightly less odour too. The chances came and went a-begging, as the fantastic build-up play was not always matched in the final third of the pitch, and as always, the more clinical opponents will always make the more charitable ones pay. Tom Conway had another sound game between the sticks, and even managed to finish with a full complement of limbs, fingers and teeth, which, given his propensity for accidental run-ins with goalposts, opponents and motor vehicles, was no mean achievement in itself. He made a series of fine saves and blocks and could not be faulted for losing goals to two short corners, a one-on-one, and a cross that somehow evaded about ten players, three spectators and a number 21 bus as it found its way into the away team’s D.

The Dynamos were eventually rewarded for their endeavours by two fine goals from the team’s attacking strike force of Dan Ridge and Mikael Kiviniemi, the latter having the rare, and possibly unique honour of being nominated man-of-the-match twice in one week, the first time trying to stop goals as the BOEHC keeper, the second trying to put the ball past the opposing stopper at the other end of the pitch. Mind you, he puts equal passion into both activities, as witnessed by the mop of hair plastered to his head which looks like he has just taken his helmet off, even if he hasn’t. The first goal was neatly laid on for him by his strike partner, but the team’s second was all Dan Ridge’s own work, and a thing of beauty at that. A great run was crowned by a brilliant dropped shoulder, selling a dummy that Mothercare would have been proud of, before finishing smartly to make it 2-4.

And so the season drew to a close, with the Dynamos somehow managing to avoid drawing a single match, losing eleven and winning nine matches in the process, whilst – more importantly – gaining quite a few admirers and compliments en route. Staggering as it may seem, the trusty Scribe somehow managed to make 27 appearances for the Vets and the Dynamos this season, a statistic made all the more worrying by the fact that a) it was almost matched by the peerless Stephen Gilbert, and b) this also meant that 27 related match reports were published as a result. Readers have had their iPhone batteries run dry whilst digesting these diatribes, and national broadband networks have run more slowly as a result of the column inches involved, but to the relief of all concerned in terms of the 2015-16 season, and in the immortal words of Kenneth Wolstenholme back in 1966 ... “They think it’s all over. It is now”.

Team:
Tom Conway (GK), Louis Brown, Tim Walters, Joni Coleman, Matt Southgate, David Leverton (C), Paul Whitney, Mikael Kiviniemi, James Elliott, Josh Clark, Stephen Gilbert and Dan Ridge.

Man-of-the-match:
Mikael Kiviniemi – sweatily excellent.

Umpires:
One from Maidstone (who had better not ever mention “ringers” again!), plus Chris Brown, who whistled brilliantly, albeit seemingly with a sadistic grin when against the visiting defence.