It’s the last day of auditions and the X-Factor judges roll into town
MATT – I’ve got a good feeling about today. I think Blackheath can produce something special.
EDD – let’s hope so
DAVID MALTMAN – potato potato top of the morning to ya

So it’s on with the auditions. Contestants have been queuing up for hours waiting for their chance to impress the judges. First up an unlikely bunch of lads from the local area. Jamie, Stu Mac, Joni C and Seb.
EDD – so lads what are you called??
The boys respond as one. We are called D’ Back Line!!
MATT – ok then. Show us what you got
And the boys did. Strong determined and calm, they displayed their wares. Passing the ball skilfully and precisely, across the pitch to the clear channel and out of danger. Strong tackling and excellent distribution. It was an easy first three yes’s of the day. Through to the next round go D’ Back Line

Next up a cocky little south London duo Dan n Ollie.
EDD – I like the look of you two. What makes you special??
We are both hard working, eager to learn. Full of energy, making great leads for the boys and Ollie is super quick. We are definite goal scorers.
EDD – it’s a yes from me
MATT – it’s a yes from me. David ?
DAVID – potato
EDD – will take that as a yes then. Boy’s you are through

And so we come to the last audition of the day. Patiently waiting in the wings are a group of young lads called “The Mids”. James, Josh, Matt, Zac and Prem.
MATT – I can see something here. You guys look special. On time, all in Blackheath kit, I like it !!
EDD – yeah guys. I know a couple of you as individuals but I am looking forward to seeing what you can do as a unit
DAVID – you look like a ready made midfield unit. You stand in formation like a midfield unit. You remind me of a young “One Direction”
So “The Mids” got the last yes of the day and it’s off to boot camp for the boys.

As boot camp comes to an end, three group of lads get called to the stage, D’ Back Line, The Mids and Dan n Ollie.

MATT – you’ve all got potential there is no doubt about that. But I think we can make you special. We are going to join you all together as one big group
The boys whoop and cheer
EDD – boys, boys, boys. We are going to pad up a guest keeper for you and get you a top motivational sergeant then throw you out on the astro on sat. you will be known as “The Fives”

And so they took to the field. And The Fives gave the X-Factor performance of their lives. The hockey was stunning. Text book. Prem driving the playmaking from the centre of midfield, with young James Elliot giving a sparkling performance and justly receiving Man Of The Match. Young Josh was hot on his heels with another fine game, effervescing with energy. D’ Back Line was as impressive as ever and actually made only one tiny mistake which lead to Gillingham getting off their only shot of the game, solidly saved by Mr Florence !! thank you James for stepping in to help out and it would be great to see you appearing more often for the club.

Gillingham kept their heads high and their youngsters energy was needed all game, but they were out classed and had it not been for a superb performance from their keeper, the scoreline would have been much greater. Another exemplary performance from the fives. Goals from Dan n Ollie, living up to their scoring potential, with Dan slotting home from another super fives counter with quick passing being decisive, adding to Ollie’s short corner follow up to bang home no 1. The final goal was another short corner second phase, placed calmly on the backboard by the Sgt.

A final thanks to Karen for a great job officiating.

MATT – I knew they were special
EDD – it’s a big fat yes from me
DAVID – potato !!

UPDATE:
Since the writing of this report the rumour mill has been working in full force with the tabloid press full of headlines. As yet the story is un-confirmed but it is possible that Prem has “done a Zane” and left the group in order to pursue a solo career!!!