Blackheath Ladies 2nd X1 V Gillingham

As Cupid’s Bow strains at the anchor point looking for victims, sorry Karen, I am inspired to write a match report of the lusty kind, because earthy and mucky with bits of velvet, is how this match heave ho’d.
Blackheath were starters for 10 with pace and direction from the start, but then that ol’ rollin’, rollin’, rollin’ started and G’ham were off, a goal before you could say “coitus interuptus”, as you do.
Then Blackheath surged forth with 2-prong, three-prong, team-pronged attacks, Kat instrumental in this, Biggsy taking a lead also, Nat, sacrificing vertebrae in the act of team-love only a captain speaks of in her sleep, shades of greyish umpiring decisions hampering progress to wit G’ham scored their second.
The defense player effort was superb but served as hors d’oeuvres to the entrée that was goalie Sarah’s virtuoso performance. Her eye to ball precision, reminiscent of exocet weaponry made one drool. She dived, slid, stroked, slammed and reached to the max (not you Max). She REALLY did deserve Man-of-the-Match.
As did the baker of the Cake that is Carrot with its light, tall and succulent appeal, sorry Karen, a perfect way to heal a 2-0 defeat.