Blackheath Ladies Hockey 2nd X1 V Burnt Ash

First there was the Arabic Spring, then the Ukrainian Revolution, now, Blackheath’s Winter of Discontent continues with an involuntary defeat at the hands of Burnt Ash.
Despite heroics from all players, a couple of continentals flown in last minute and initial play that spoke of victory, the weather vane to success blew contrary in the face of such works when that rollin’, rollin’, rollin’ wind caught its pointer.

Blackheath’s inability to score was very much in evidence as short corners came and went unanswered and attacks were rebuked.
Annette had a battle to keep Burnt Ash out of her domain and her defensive chaperone did its utmost, but a two-against-one attack blew the house down and the wolf got its pig.

BA walked off in a cloud of unexpected delight leaving Blackheath to ponder when their Winter would herald fat bulbs of real potential and green shoots of change.

A sombre brain-storming session ensued at match tea, views were gathered on how the team could compost their past season and fertilise sods for current growth. The results:

• Specsavers free eye test.
• Open cheque.
• Vitamin B-complex.
• Shock Absorber sport’s bra-no.4.
• ‘How to Score in Life’-Paul McKenna (you can have it after Karen).
• ½ case of Prosecco.
• Insults.
• £5.
• £10.
• 50p.
• Bach Remedies.
• Red Hot Poker(s).
• Compass.
• Harry Potter box set.
• ‘Training exclusion‘ pass.
• Hypnotherapy (some).
• Cognitive therapy (all).
• Red Bull inhaler.
• Roll-on Anti-spray.
• Knee pads (Harriett)
• Self-flagellation (voluntary).
• General flagellation (kinky).
• Chocolate Balls.
• Hockey stick.
• Binoculars.
• Set square.
• On-trend fashion tips (Sue).
• Patience of a saint (Nat).
• DIY funky muck spreading http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZ7LZITmznw (and I’ll know if anyone does the 7+ minutes!).

It was agreed by t’committee that Annette be Farmer of the match after some excellent muck spreading of her own.