GRAVEROBBERS DIG DEEP TO DEFY THE HIGHWAYMEN

Gravesham & Wellcome Men’s 3s 2 BOEHC Highwaymen 0

Even if the result went with the form book, then the actual game itself did not really follow the script, as the Highwaymen put in a gutsy, brave and battling performance where they could even have led before eventually succumbing to two second half goals shortly before the hour mark. The score-line all but cemented the home team’s deserved promotion to Division 2 next season, whilst virtually extinguishing any lingering hopes that BOEHC might do the same at the end of an eventful 2016-2017 season. Gravesham have been the most consistent team in the league throughout and a direct comparison between the two teams’ vital statistics shows why they are the ones going up this year. Whilst the goals conceded column is virtually identical at just over 20, Gravesham have found the back of their opponents’ net on 30 more occasions than the men in red, and in truth, they probably figured that they were in for an easy ride on Saturday. How wrong they were!

Confronted by the usual unique cocktail of youngsters, old geezers, the follicly-challenged and visually impaired, Gravesham were probably licking their lips at the prospect of imminent promotion ... only to then run into a brick wall of opposition instead. The central spine of the visiting team was indeed a strong one, with Mssrs. Cleall, Wickramasuriya, Bowles and Burnett forming a seam of steel from defence through to the front line, and putting in “steely” performances to match. Phil Kinch and the returning Jamie Rendell kept things tight at the back, and the team had a really good shape to it with Greg Dowse and Peter Robinson taking up wide positions, and Tom Davies turning in a fantastic display in a forward midfield role ...

... all of which possibly helps explain – at least in part – why certain members of the home team seemed to resort to consistent verbal abuse of the umpires, the opposition and virtually anyone else within unfortunate earshot of the pointless and incessant streams of advice, complaint and personal opinion. The opposition number 58 in particular was a source of such toxic invective, stinking language and perpetual hot air that local energy experts must have been briefly considering whether he might have made a ideal choice as Kent’s first fully-operating fracking site. But the Highwaymen were not going to be intimidated or bullied, either physically or verbally, and the first half was very tightly contested, as the home team were for once not able to simply steamroller the opposition and have it all their own way as per usual. With perennial man-of-the-match, goalkeeper Tom Conway, again turning in a great display palming, kicking and hacking everything to safety at one end, the men from BOEHC even eschewed various opportunities to take the lead at the other, in particular from a failed penalty flick and a far-post tracer bullet opportunity that Peter Robinson narrowly failed to connect with. So yet again it was 0-0 at half-time.

The second half started with a little more of the Alamo about it, the visitors finding themselves reduced to 10 men as a result of Ali Burnett’s yellow card just before the break, and getting stretched about as a result of Gravesham’s numerical supremacy. Although fouled at least 3-4 times in the opposition D before being flattened by the home keeper, his subsequent act of petulance could be in part understood, but not condoned given his wealth of experience, and in truth, other umpires might have indeed given red after he had seen red. Frustratingly, the Highwaymen still managed to hold on to parity until a mere 30 seconds before he was allowed to return from the “naughty chair”, but when a second goal followed five minutes later, again in somewhat unfortunate circumstances, there was no real way back for the away team. Having said that, the lively Josh Clark, who again put in a strong display against some uncompromising defenders, came oh-so-close via another one-on-one. Sadly the massive frame of the onrushing home keeper threw a quick solar eclipse over the whole home D and Clark was unable to get good contact on the ball in the ensuing gloom. Once again Steve Bowles showed what a huge asset he is to the team with a marvellous display that encompassed great link-up play, a number of shots on target and the odd spot of UN peace-keeping duties too.

The final whistle blew and the dust finally settled. To their eternal credit the majority of the home team were gracious in victory, as they had indeed been during the game, where one of their number even confirmed that it was the best and most enjoyable contest they had been involved in all season. On the good news side, it looks highly unlikely that the Highwaymen will be riding into Gravesham next season, and to be honest, Division 2 is “Wellcome” to their horrible pitch and changing rooms, for which even the home team apologises. But the men in red still have plenty to play for – exceeding previous points totals, equalling previous finishing positions, the potential local derby bragging honours versus Brombecks, as well as the season-ending rescheduled fixture at Holcombe.

Team:
Tom Conway (GK), Tim Walters, Jamie Rendell, Phil Kinch, Peter Robinson, Ravi Wickramasuriya, Greg Dowse, Richard Cleall, Steve Bowles, Alastair Burnett, Josh Clark, Tom Davies and Stephen Gilbert (C).

Man-of-the-match:
Tom Conway – an excellent all-round display once again, despite carrying an injury sustained during the warm-up. He and Josh Clark could well be in a shoot-out for the player of the season award come April.

Umpires:
Mark Ainley and the home umpire had their work cut out and were not helped by a constant and wholly unnecessary verbal barrage from the home team, as well as the occasional contribution from the visitors, but it was simply that type of a game. In retrospect, they both did well to maintain an acceptable level of control in a game that could easily have spiralled out of the realms of the acceptable. It was doubtless a more enjoyable game to play in than it was to officiate.