Highwaymen back on song

A recent trouncing, player absenteeism, confirmed reports of late night mid-week boozing sessions and you’d be forgiven for thinking the Highwaymen were on the ropes. A camp destabilized by the as yet unexplained absence of Chris Brown. Rumours the player is trying to force a move to the 5th XI abound. The last-minute skiing trip 2 weeks ago, does a player of undoubted talent no favours, when it comes to the court of public opinion. Beleaguered skipper, Stephen, in a very rare moment of poor judgement, offered certain players the week off. Your correspondent has received eye witness reports confirming that Mr Gilbert was in attendance at what has been termed the Catford Taverngate party with several members of his squad last week. Could the problems outlined above have their roots in the boozy culture that seems to have gripped the Highwaymen this season?

The presence of Dr Ed, a man much missed in the defensive line, galvanised the team and his words of encouragement, imploring the team to victory, did not fall on deaf ears. The phrase “We are no longer in any danger of promotion, so we can afford to win a few” was definitely uttered in the pre-match Yawn-Up.

The defensive line of Phil B, Miller, Phil K and Cleal were superbly solid and on the rare occasion the oppo did sneak a meaningful chance goalkeeper Steve B was on hand to pluck the fast-moving tomahawked shot from the air.

The damage was really done in the midfield where R. Mills & A. Rose dominated the park ably assisted by Ravi and Gary in the wide positions. Their accurate and timely passing and capable ball retention gave a platform from which the forwards could run rampant and 3 goals were scored in fairly quick succession. David repeatedly breaking the line set up chances for others and created two for himself. Both put away with a tenacious glee. His interplay with Ben W was sublime at times. Andy M latched onto the end of one of these passages of play and slotted the ball home firmly at the far post.

It was inevitable the squad would tire, especially after the consumption of so much cheap plonk the preceding Thursday. After conceding it was decided squad rotation was needed. The introduction of Stephen Gilbert steadied the ship with fresh legs thwarting oppo attacks before they could get going. Alas the fast start did not dispel the disquiet that some fear is affecting an otherwise happy team. Tony’s refusal to be subbed on for the second half in a Tevezesque show of defiance could be a signifier of deeper issues. The player in question has refused to sign a new contract and rumour has it that a loan move last year only fell through on account of the astronomical wages the player commands. With tact and diplomacy however, Tony was coaxed onto the pitch later into the half and he didn’t disappoint, providing hold up play that a man a quarter of his age would be proud of.

There are times in our lives we remember where we were when a significant event happened. The assassination of Kennedy, the fall of the Berlin wall, the release of Nelson Mandela all mark points in our personal histories but also sear dates, indelibly, into our collective conscience. On Saturday 29th January, ex Brighton and Hove centre forward, James H, scored his 349th league goal for the club. A goal of such poetry and beauty that to try and put it into words would be a crime almost as heinous as not recording the event for posterity. Once again, Ravi W, who must have had a pass completion rate for the match in the high 90%, split the defence with a whipped push into the path of the now sprinting Hatcher. A last second bobble and the ball lifted and at this point taking the ball strong and slamming into the tackle of an on rushing defender seemed like an ill-informed choice and the striker pivoted onto his reverse, lifting the ball into his path and with a reverse handed ‘volley of the gods’, launched the ball into the top corner of the opposite side of the goal. The opposition goalie, a tall man who had had a fine game, was left rooted to the spot as the ball slammed into the one part of the goal he could not cover. Top bins your reporter has heard it called by exuberant spectators who get to witness such sporting greatness. In interview after the match a typically humble Hatcher said it was “not a time for hubris or self aggrandizing” he just wished “Donald Trump, President Putin, the Saudi led coalition that are blowing all hell out of the Yemen and leaders of Islamic State had been there to witness it as it surely would have brought about lasting world peace”. Your correspondent, having witnessed the events of last Saturday is in no position to disagree. Guinness and Staropramen were bought in abundance and the team made merry in a busy and vibrant post-match bar.

Thanks go to Gary and Messrs Cleall and Kinch for faultless umpiring.

Squad
Steve Bowles, Stephen Gilbert, James Hatcher, Richard Cleall, Phil Kinch, Steve Miller, Phil Bunker, Matt Robinson, Gary d Souza, Ravi Wickramasuriya, Ben Wickramasuriya, Andy Rose, Rich Mills, David Linton, Andy Moore