2s COME OUT ON TOP IN LOCAL DERBY

It might come as a surprise to some that this is the first time I have ever been voted d*ck of the day. However, this Saturday the 2s were out to get me. They left me with no way of getting to the game, forcing me to get public transport with a load of peasants. Then, they voted me as d*ck of the day for absolutely no reason, resulting in this match report. So without further ado...

The game started off alright we was all over them, then the old boys decided to get involved. A few minutes in I mugged off a geeza and put it through his legs, but it was judged as a foul and I had to give him the ball back. 26 minutes in, Fergus scored a decent goal. The lad put in a shift running from inside our own half before finding the back of the net. A few more unconverted chances later it was half time.

Josh Self came out on fire, bruk up some ankles meaning he too had to give them the ball back for simply being too good. 50 minutes 1-1 some bald geeza scored a naughty little defleco. There were a few questionable decisions and as you can imagine Jade decided to become a third umpire resulting in his 1000th card for chat. 62 minutes Benson roofed a flick and that was that.

Full time 2-1. After learning 26 new hockey rules we (the over-18s) all needed a beer.

Josh Self man of the match for being a bit good.

Joe Allen d*ck of the day for absolutely no reason other than the rest of the team being d*cks and voting for him.