Four-hundred and sixteen years ago today, Guy Fawkes and his band of fellow conspirators sought to blow up the Houses of Parliament and topple King James I from the English throne. Following in these anarchic footsteps Blackheath Ladies 1st X1 were conspiring to topple Folkestone from the top of the Southeast Women’s Division 1. Yes! It was the long awaited ‘Top of the Table’ clash with both teams keen to put on a display (not a firework display – a display of hockey par excellence).

The first fifteen minutes were tense and closely fought. Ella intercepted balls as if she had a stick of dynamite up her skirt; Jilly and Sally rotated in midfield like a majestic Catherine wheel; Emma Huxley dazzled on the right and Vicky used her head to break down play (she literally used her head). Sadly, it was Folkestone on the break who let off a cracker which rocketed into the Blackheath net and gave them the lead at halftime.

Conceding a goal lit a fuse in Blackheath who came out blazing. The umpires added petrol to the flames with both teams getting hot under the collar. Blackheath’s anarchic spirit could not be extinguished, and we continued to push forward for an equaliser. Alex fired off some cracking short corners which soared just past the post. Carlotta used her silky skills like a sparkler cutting through the oppo’s defence. But Folkestone were equally determined, and their second goal came when a shot (rather like a dud firework) spun awkwardly off the post and inched its way across the line in agonising slow motion (via Sarah MB’s pads).
In a last-ditch attempt to topple Folkestone, Sally and her band of conspirators took it to the opposition one last time. Emma ‘Drag Flick’ Huxley showed her class with a stonking goal which saw her awarded ‘Man of the Match’. But it was too little, too late and Folkestone went away victors. This time.

In 1605 Guy Fawkes was imprisoned in the tower, tortured for 2 days and put to death for his part in the failed conspiracy. We will have to wait until Monday night to see what punishment Coach Jules has for us…